Friday, 16 June 2017

Labour of lust

Sometimes a prompt is what, well, prompts one to tidy up ideas about a particular subject. And never more than in this case.

Pornography is usually defined as something created specifically to arouse. There are other criteria, mentioning explicit character, obscenity even. But fundamentally, in my mind, porn has one goal: to arouse. You can see the problem with this definition from the users' point of view is, yes? What arouses one person will simply interest another, leave another one cold and repulse some. I prefer to think of porn from the point of view of creator. I have a reason for that, obvious to anybody who reads my blog: I write smut. I also write a lot of stuff that I don't consider porn, even if it features enough explicit sex to be seen as, ahem, erotica. Though I dislike that particular term because, again, how do you define erotica - is it simply ''classier'' porn? One in silk rather than polyester? One that features more developed characters, with more story behind the fucking? And visually speaking, is erotica more stylish, less in your face?

But smut is different. When writing smut I focus on one primary goal: the arousal. I write to get you, the reader, hot and bothered, and I write to get you off. Everything else is secondary, which doesn't mean limited or taken lightly, but the objective is to arouse.

And to do that, I believe that a piece of smut -whether a single strok-story or a chapter of a longer text - must follow the arousal curve. In some way the narrative arc must reflect the sexual act. And the most important part of that is the build-up. Smut writing is about creating desire, and arguably, it is much more about creating and building up desire than visual porn is. The ''action'' comes much later.

And speaking of ''action'', one of the most interesting (if you are nerdy about these things) factors when writing smut is placing and spacing of orgasm(s). It's not even that the piece has to have a climax at its climax - but it definitely gets received better if the main character - and it doesn't have to be the point-of-view character, but rather the one that the readers identify with - does orgasm. Orgasm-less smut is invariably received less enthusiastically. A cum-shot is clearly a thing in writing too. Spacing of multiple orgasms is also an issue: when one of my stories features several, I tend to choose one of them for the peak of the narration curve and temper the intensity of any others.

Talking of audiences, for a long time now, I have been really writing primarily for the audience of about two at any given time (that is including myself), and the fact that those stories seem to also have a wider, if niche, appeal never ceases to amaze me. The ones I like best are shared fantasies, or rather fantasies and narratives, written for particular people or with particular people in mind. But - I also have a little exhibitionist streak, and I find it very thrilling that such personal pieces seem to work, and appeal to other readers, at least occasionally.

But I do take the wider audience into account to some extent. Not so much in the themes I use, but more in the editing - for example how I chop up the multi-part stories.

As an example, I did have a longer story which turned from MFM to MMF scenes and I did cut it into two parts to separate the "normal" from the "dodgy" section. And I did tweak a couple of femdommey texts which went quite far into the realm of feminisation/crossdressing, to make it just a little less niche.

I also include descriptions of how my female characters look, almost entirely for the audience! I know guys like that kind of thing, so I do relent here, but it bores me like fuck to write them and read them. I used to make more concessions to the demands of the stroke-story genre, but ultimately, I write what and how I want.

My themes are familiar to those who read this blog, but one thing I have noticed is what I termed a ''first time factor''. It's only First Times that are interesting, aren't they? It's ALWAYS a first time. Even if it's not technically the first time at all. "It's impossible to remember every time we have fucked, because it must have been hundreds - maybe thousands - of times that we touched like that, that we entered each other like that, but there is still - there always is - that tiny moment of excitement, of the thrill, of what is it going to be like? without which there is no desire, just a bodily contortion or a chore."

So every story of mine is a story of a first time in some sense - otherwise what's the point? I am not interested in sex as a hygienic activity comparable to brushing teeth, OK, I will do it, of course, because teeth need brushing, but I will certainly not write about it.

It's boring if there is no door to open, no bridge to cross, no wall to bring down, no fear and no elation. I suppose I am a sensation seeker who thrives on intensity and novelty, more emotional/intellectual even if not physical adventure now I am older, so the appeal of ''first times'' is a default for me. Plus, even a stroke story needs a bit of a plot, in the sense of emotional dynamic and suspense, and there is no better way to generate that suspense that a first time experience of something.

Going back to the themes, though. Years before the whole kink bomb exploded in my head, I had been always aware of my own fascination - a fetish really - for bisexual or gay male sex. I have no idea how or why it started. I think I was always attracted to somewhat tortuously conflicted or socially unacceptable desires, but it's not just that.

Androgyny always interested me, both psychologically and physically, maybe because it's something I could never physically pull off, what with tits and ass and so called womanly curves. Not that I mind, but we do desire what we are not, no? Plus, I have always liked pretty men and fairly masculine women.

Ultimately I just find the idea of a MMF threesome, and even just two guys having sex pretty hot. I watch gay porn occasionally and much more than vanilla hetero porn, though I am pretty picky and generally watch very little. I think what appeals to me most about gay porn is - no smirks, OK - the faces. You rarely get male orgasm faces in FM porn, obviously because it's targeted at male audience. For the same reason I watch amateur male solo clips...

 But in writing, I think what I am most interested in is desire. To capture the essence of desire, and its various manifestations. We are nothing without desire. Desire, not just sexual desire, but that's the kind we are talking about here, and perhaps the most interesting one, is for me the essence of being alive. Obviously we have needs -- like thirst or hunger or sleep -- but these are physiologically necessary for survival. Lust is biologically wired in, but there is so much more to it. Some people long to be without lust. Others thrive on that ache. I am definitely among the latter. Once we stop wanting, we are dead.


  1. Oh I thrive on the ache too, I would hate to be without it. I think lust and desire are wonderful things and I live to feel them and love to inspire them with my writing and images


  2. I definitely thrive on the ache too, for me it's my life blood, a thirst that can never be quenched.