Friday 13 September 2019

One Funny Trick that will help you make online play more enjoyable for the toppy woman at the other end of the Internet

Topping remotely is much (much) (much) more likely to be enjoyable for the bottom than for the top. 

Why? Because many toppy people are *reaction junkies*. And that applies not just to impact play, sensory play, bondage, etc. It also applies to emotional/psychological topping, for example humiliation, and it includes control/obedience as a kink, as in giving orders or tasks. 

Many guys who want to play online don't seem to have an idea of what it is that a top gets out of the interaction. To start with, I also had no clear idea. I knew some instances were ''better" and some "worse" but I didn't know why. Until I met someone who did it right, who at times provided a nearly breath-by-breath report of *what was going on with him*. From basic physiology (*breaths shallow and fast*) to arousal (*this made my cock twitch*) to more general sensory response (*warm and tingling, feeling floaty*) to specific, elaborate descriptions of thoughts, feelings, mental and physical sensations in relation to specific things I did, said, requested. 

Pictures (and video) can provide some of this information, but it depends on how visual the person is, and often text or audio are much better at conveying it. 

Don't tell me what you would do to/for me, or what you want me to do to/for you, tell me what you are feeling now. 

Knowing that you complied, especially with a visual proof, is good, but is nowhere near enough. The doing itself is often not the point. The point is often what  the doing is doing to you. And this isn't necessarily obvious or clear. Even on cam. 

Compare this: 

>I'm high as fuck. I'm trying to describe this but I can't, too washed away. There's a thin rim of pain around my head. Breathing is fucked. Shaking. Stomach in knots. Heart is pounding hard, though not too fast.

With this:

>It's sooo hot.


Now, of course, the top can ask specific questions, but (which will take me to my next point really soon) they are already *doing the work in the interaction* -- they are doing the topping, and they have likely came up with the ideas. So make it easier for her by offering the feedback -- the reactions -- and/or by asking specifically what you can do to bridge the gap resulting from the nature of the medium you use to interact. 

And talking about asking question, and making it easier... 


**Think of what is in it for her.**


Don't just lie there and think of England (or making your cock and your sub mind happy). Be responsive, but also be proactive. Give her ideas without making them into demands  or requests. 

Be honest   with  your feedback about thingst that don't work without making it sound as complaints. 

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