Showing posts with label kink. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kink. Show all posts

Tuesday, 12 December 2017

Dominance and submission are not really kinks

I'm probably going to use the term "dominant" quite a lot in this blog, so for clarity here is my personal and subjective definition.

When I say "dominant" here,  I mean "sexually dominant". And what I mean by "sexually dominance" is a desire for, a want of,  a sexual arousal and satisfaction resulting from being in control of sexual interaction.

That's it.  Nothing else and nothing more. I'm not claiming it as a correct definition,  or the best one, it's what works for me and what I mean when I use this term.

Understood like that, dominance/submission is not even a "kink" in the way most other kinks are. It's more of a preference,  a style of doing sex and relating in matters sexual,  a dimension on which everyone who's not asexual can be placed.  It's a "how", not a "what".

In its more extreme forms,  it finds its expression in formal  D/s or other kinks that are often included under the BDSM umbrella.

But it's of course also perfectly possible to have kinks which often correlate with dominance/submission without being obviously dominant or submissive. Sado-masochism,  cross-dressing,  sensory play,  exhibitionism,  pegging are often used as part of D/s play but can also be done without power exchange or counter-intuitively to their obvious associations.  A masochistic dominant flogged by her submissive or a female submissive anally pleasuring her male dom are just two obvious examples.

This confusion between specific kinks and dominance/submission combined with the Hierarchy of Worthy Kink  often seems to result in somewhat disparaging comments the high clergy of HoWK make about "fake doms", "vanilla kinksters", people being "just bottoms" and a whole lot of other snobby,  hierarchical bullshit.

All that is well known stuff.  But stay with me a little longer.  What if we look at it from the other side? What if we remove the kinks from dominance/submission?

I believe it's perfectly possible.  I believe you can be sexually dominant or sexually submissive and not have any "kinks" that would be recognisable as kinks - no freak to get on,  no paraphillias,  no weird shit arousal triggers,  no fetishes, not even liking for rough sex.

It's surely possible to be "traditional vanilla"  in everything you do -  let's say, prefer piv sex in the bedroom, with low lights and no props, a bit of oral - and still be dominant or submissive: to deeply enjoy and get off on being in control or being controlled.

It's an accepted wisdom that "vanilla kinksters" are prowling all around, looking to pollute kink spaces, and, shock-horror, hoping to get laid. But so are vanilla doms and subs. Out there, not even hiding, in very plain sight. Ask your auntie Dot.





Tuesday, 6 June 2017

To have his cock [and lock it?] (3)

This is where they ended up in  the last instalment

You can't come, boy, echoed in his mind. Marie was laughing. You can't come until I tell you too. That's what you wanted, slut boy. She seemed both a little angry and amused, happy and a little contemptuous. Ian wasn't sure if this was a memory or a fantasy. He moaned, louder than normal, his cock getting sore, his arousal unabated. ''Please… I need to come so bad… please… please….'' he knew she liked him to beg, he knew it turned her on to say no, but sometimes it turned her on to say yes too. He tried to imagine her saying ''yes'', tried to hear her voice, conjure that permission, but it didn't work. He moaned louder, his muscles tensing, shaking, straining, the desire turning into pain. ''Please, Ma'am... ohhh god, please, please... I need it so bad....'' he felt himself turn to his side, curl up, then turn over, his painfully hard, dripping cock rubbing against the sheets, the humiliation of all the people that were watching his predicament flooding his mind, tears of frustration making his face wet as he humped the bed in futile search for relief. 

He was fucked. He was completely fucked and he had only himself to blame. It was perfect. 


****

Marie was waiting for him in what the OC-Lab called ''guest lounge'', and when he emerged she jumped up from her seat excitedly and almost run to him, a big smile on her face. 

Ian hesitated. His erection had subsided now, but the feeling of a nearly overwhelming and frustrated desire, of the desperate need to come, of the way his body shivered and tensed and whimpered on that bed, overlooked by cameras and attached to various wires, was still very much there, churning his insides and blurring his vision. Seeing Marie here brought it all to the forefront of his mind. For a split second he wanted to yell at her, for another - longer - he wanted to drop to his knees right here in front of her and plead for permission. 

She embraced him warmly and he could feel her soft breasts against his chest, her arms around him, the smell of her perfume and her skin, her whisper in his ear, ''That was so fucking hot, boy. Watching you there. I can't wait.'' She slid her knee between his legs and dragged it up and down along his rapidly returning erection. He groaned. 

''Or maybe we should get it out of the way now,'' her knee pressed harder and she bit his ear briefly, ''I've been thinking of having you come just here,'' her tongue was doing weird things on his neck behind his ear while the fingers of her right hand grasped his nipple. ''I came, imagining that, just before I drove to pick you up,'' Marie twisted his nipple. His low groan turned into a stifled whimper, ''I imagined telling you to come in your pants before we even got to the car,'' she was panting a bit now and he realised she was nearly as aroused as he was, ''I know how much you want to come, slutboy, I heard you whimper,'' Ian's head was spinning, his hips moving involuntarily, seeking stimulation of her touch, his cock painfully hard again, dampness of the precum noticeable in his pants. He was desperate to come, but he didn't want it to happen here, with others possibly seeing him, and he thought, as much as he was capable of thinking, that the occasion demanded more of an event. 

Marie stepped away, ''I decided not to, though. C'mon, boy,'' she pulled his arm and he followed, a huge frustrated erection throbbing in his jeans, his hands shaking. 

*

Ian was reclining on their bed, completely naked, his back supported by few pillows. His wrists were tied to the headboard, his legs spread wide and also restrained, albeit loosely, with ties stretching to the legs of the bed. 

His cock was painfully hard (again), precum dripping in a continuous trickle (again), the skin on the top stretched so tight that it felt like on the edge of splitting, his balls tight and full, his whole body trapped not just in the physical restraints (to which he submitted willingly) but in an invisible net of frustrated desire (to which he had submitted enthusiastically too).  A desire that could only be satisfied at Marie's will and whim. 

She was sitting on the side of the bed, watching him, her pupils dilated, fingers of her right hand twisting a nipple clamp attached to his chest. He groaned, waves of stinging pain spreading through his body, distracting him from the pulsing need in his cock. She reached down and stroked his shaft, her fingers flitting briefly over the cockhead. He bucked his hips, instinctively trying to prolong the stimulation. She laughed, a low chuckle of joy, and slapped his cock, hard enough to make it bounce. 

"I love this. I never realised how much I'd love this," she panted and lowered her head over him, her soft, wet lips closing on his cock, her tongue swirling. 

He moaned, unable to stop himself, ''Please, Marie... Ma'am, please... let me come... please...''

She lifted her face up and looked at him, ''No. I love you like this.''

''Please...''

''No.''

''Please......''

It felt like each ''please'' made her more aroused, made her breathing faster, each ''no'' coming out more rapidly on a sharp exhale, each subsequent lick slower, each slurp more ravenous. She was feeding her desire with his desperation, literally, gasping and sighing her delight every time he whimpered or tensed up. And he was yielding, letting her have her way with his body, with him, and now she was taking him more fully, climbing on top and sliding her wet, warm cunt onto his cock, clenching and releasing, her hips rocking back and forth, the fingers of her left hand fast on her clit. 

She moaned, letting out short, sharp cries, her left hand moving all over his body, grabbing, pinching, scratching. It felt like she was masturbating on his cock, and it felt like his cock wasn't his cock any more but her toy, an object she used for her own pleasure. He wanted to fuck her, to thrust and pound, but some part of him already knew that there was no point to this, that she would do it the way she wanted, and if she wanted him still and filling her cunt, that's what she'd have. 

Marie lifted her hips up and slammed her arse onto him, then gyrated. His cock spasmed, filling her throbbing cunt even tighter, suspended tight on the edge of release. She moaned louder, freed her right hand, leaned forward, grabbed his hair with her left hand and pulled his head painfully back. The slap came unexpected, hard and swift, then another one, his whole left cheek burning, her face above him, her mouth open in a grimace of pleasure.

''You...fucking... bitch... ohhhhh... fuck. Fuck. Fuuuck. My fucking slut... ohhhh,'' another slap, then her hand soft on his cheek. She slowed down, then stopped. Marie supported herself on her hands placed on his chest, leaning over him. Her hair, damp with sweat and tangled, fell on her shoulders and breasts and his chest, her eyes locked with his, huge, pupils dilated into dark vortexes, the narrow band of a steel-blue iris swirling with sudden violet. 

She was still now, the only movements the rhythmic falling and rising of her chest and clenching and unclenching of her cunt on his cock. She was smiling. 

"I'm yours, Ma'am. Yours. Your. Yours, '' he moaned into those eyes, into that smile. She placed her hand on his mouth, gently this time, and nodded. 

''Mine,'' the hand adjusted so the palm still covered his mouth while the fingers closed on his nose, restricting but not completely blocking his air intake. Her ass lifted again and dropped down, her weight transmitted through that hand pushing his head into the pillow, her hips shifting and rocking, a series of low sighs and murmurs of delight coming out of her mouth as she adjusted her body and started to fuck him again, this time in a faster, more regular rhythm, the nails of her other hand digging into his shoulder. 

Ian felt his mind starting to dissociate, detach from his body, the body she was using now and that wasn't his any more. He instinctively tried to take a bigger breath, slowly sucked in more air than her hand allowed, was pushed down harder, the nails digging deeper, her moans now loud, animal-like. She was nearly screaming, shaking, slamming herself onto him, slamming him into her, her hand removed from his mouth, nails dragging along his cheek and the side of his neck. He was sinking into a space filled with velvety electricity, floating away from the pain and torment that his body was subjected to. The pleasure and the pain melded together and he felt his control - all of it, not just his ability to ejaculate as he felt he needed to - receding further, then disappearing. 



---tbc, maybe

Monday, 5 June 2017

To have his cock and lock it? (2)



***

His next memory was of coming to in bed of what felt like a cross between a modern hotel room and a fancy private hospital room. Ian could feel the cool, smooth sheets, the low, warm light and a light blanket or sheet over his body. It was only when he tried to move that he realised that he was naked and that there were wires stretching out and flat pieces of metal - electrodes? - stuck to his skin in several places. On his head, chest, hips, belly, feet, inner thighs. Other places. Including his cock. At least his cock was still there, he thought as he reached down to make absolutely sure. He had no idea what had happened, couldn't remember anything between the time in the waiting room and now. He had no idea how much time had passed or even if he still was in the same building.

Yet he wasn't scared. Not as scared as he should have been, all things considered. He looked around the room and saw a camera, no, two cameras, suspended from the ceiling and clearly pointing towards him.

Someone must have seen that he was awake now because the door opened and someone walked in. A tall, dark haired middle-aged woman he vaguely recognised, but didn't remember.

''Hello. I'm glad you are with us again… fully, this time,'' she smiled.

''Ummm… what… I don't remember anything!'' Ian blurted out. His voice felt hoarse, straining. 

''No. You would not. I can assure you everything went according to plan. Your treatment appears to have been completely successful. Of course, we won't know until some time in… the real world passes, but you can leave as soon as you are ready.''

''So… excuse me, who are you?''

''I'm Annika Marsden. We met before, but the whole process tends to cause a degree of amnesia that temporarily extends beyond the procedure itself. The procedure will remain inaccessible to your conscious mind at all times. I have all the documents, including your consent forms, here,'' she placed a folder on a bedside table. ''You can look through it any time you want, and of course your partner was kept informed at all times. ''

Ian remembered now. Dr Marsden. The creator of the program and co-owner of the OC-Lab. He reached out to take the documents, the sheet covering him slipping down. He nervously pulled it up. Annika Marsden smiled at him. It felt like an indulgent smile, ''Don't worry about modesty. We have seen… quite a lot of your body, throughout the last few days,'' the smile looked just a little bit more like a smirk now. Ian shivered, his mind trying desperately to remember, remember anything at all.

''You remember WHAT we did, Mr Fergusson?''

''Yes… yes, I do…''

''For the next ninety days, give or take a few, your partner will have a complete proscriptive control of your orgasm.''

''Proscriptive control?'' Ian flinched.

''You will be unable to orgasm without her explicit permission or instruction. She will also have some prescriptive control, which means that it should be significantly easier for her to make you orgasm if she wishes to. This feature of our neural conditioning program for biological males is not quite fully develop yet, and for now comes as a… side effect of the process. Most of our customers welcome it, but some never choose to explore the opportunities it presents,'' Dr Marsden seemed a little sad at this lack of customer adventurousness. 

All this was said in a matter of fact, professional tone. Ian felt the implications sink in. 

Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. He's done it. THEY have done it. Marie had a full control now. He actually won't be able to come without her permission. He felt his blood flow to his cock and an erection growing quickly, tenting the thin sheet covering him. He tried to conceal it with his hand, discreetly slid under the sheet, the embarrassment making him harder even faster.

''Yes… yes… I remember,'' his cock was now fully erect under his fingers. Dr Marsden was ignoring it, even though she obviously could see what was going on.

''Before you get ready to leave, we usually recommend that our customers test the bind we have created. I suggest you masturbate now, Mr Fergusson,'' she glanced at the sheet in his crotch area now, ''and check for yourself. We have cameras here, and the feed is available to your partner too. We can also switch them off, if you prefer. Though we'd rather not miss the opportunity to monitor your progress,'' she smiled beatifically, ''Or you can just go home immediately. ''

Ian felt his cock pulsing at the thought of Marie - and this woman, and possibly others - watching him masturbate. He believed what she said earlier, yet he didn't feel completely convinced. He'd never had problems orgasming. Even that one time when he was locked up in a chastity device by a professional domme keyholder, he experienced small orgasms, not very satisfying, but orgasms nevertheless. The idea that he would be denied without any physical constraints, however convincing the science spiel, was still a little preposterous.

''No, no… The cameras are OK. I'll… I'll try, I'll do it now,'' he groaned, his fingers grasping his rigid cock almost without his mind's participation. It felt completely normal, warm, hard, throbbing a little in anticipation of the pleasure. 

''Excellent, Mr Fergusson. I hope you enjoy your new wiring,'' Annika Marsden stepped away from his bed and walked out of the room.

Ian grabbed his cock firmly and started to stroke. He thought of the cameras above him, and threw the sheet off, arching his back a little and cupping his balls, full and heavy, with his other hand. He imagined Marie seeing him on her laptop screen. She liked watching him masturbate, and sometimes made him perform for her, dictating rhythm and count, teasing him or hurting him as he stroked. He shivered, his cock pulsing in his hand, precum drops appearing on the tip. He closed his eyes and sank into the sensation, his hand on his own flesh, waves of pleasure washing over him, his breathing getting deeper, faster, his movements getting into the old, familiar, perfect rhythm that he preferred and that always got him to the edge and over it without fail.

Images filled his head, not a specific narrative, but disjointed flashes; Marie straddling him, her hand on his throat, panting, her teeth exposed in a grimace of furious lust; her nails on his back, the sting of her crop on his butt, the names she called him and the low whispers of encouragement and praise that turned him on as much or maybe even more than the name calling; and other women, bodies and faces over him, perfect feet in heels so high that she just laughed at the idea of ever putting them on; a sequence of wet cunts pushed in his face to lick and pleasure until his jaw ached. 

His arousal reached its peak, his whole body electric with need, his whole being focused on one thing only, that thing he had to have, had to have now.

And he couldn't. 

However hard or fast he rubbed, and whatever image he called to his mind, he couldn't come. If felt like his balls would explode with the accumulated tension, the skin on his cock rubbed raw, stretched close to splitting, copious precum streaming down the shaft. Overwhelming pleasure turned into pain, even as frustration, paradoxically, made him even more aroused. He moaned, then swore, then whimpered. 

You can't come, boy, a voice echoed in his mind. Marie was laughing. You can't come until I tell you to. That's what you wanted, slut boy. She seemed a little angry and very amused, happy but a little contemptuous. Ian wasn't sure if this was a real memory or a fantasy. 

He moaned again, louder than normal, his cock getting sore, his arousal unabated. ''Please… I need to come so bad… please… please….'' he knew she liked him to beg, he knew it turned her on to say no, but it turned her on to say yes too. He tried to imagine her saying ''yes'', tried to hear her voice, conjure that permission. It didn't work. He moaned louder, his muscles tensing, shaking, straining, the lust morphing into pain. ''Please, Ma'am... ohhh god, please, please... I need it so bad....'' he felt himself turn onto his side, curl up, then turn over, his painfully hard, dripping cock rubbing against the sheets, the humiliation of all the people that were watching his predicament flooding his mind, tears of frustration making his face wet as he humped the bed in a futile search for relief. 

He was fucked. He was completely fucked and he had only himself to blame. It was perfect. 

***


I'd love any feedback, particularly from males who could comment on the physical sensations of frustration as I am, for obvious anatomical reasons, a little shaky on the detail there. Either comment, or email me via the contact form here.





Monday, 6 March 2017

VS110

I have written quite a few first-meeting scenes. This one is one of my two favourites. And it was the first one in an important story. 

***


It's not even half past eight in the morning and although I've had a good night at the hotel, I'm still a bit woozy from the eight hour drive yesterday and the early start today.

The landing is announced. Suddenly my tiredness is gone, my back straightens, my heartbeat picks up, my breathing deepens. The sounds of a working airport, the colours, the shapes, the people milling around, all the external stimuli melt into the background, not disappearing but weaving themselves into an out-of-focus shimmering whole. My focus turns to my body.

I can feel the shoes I am wearing, uncomfortable platform sandals with four inch heels. I can feel the load concentrated in  the balls of my feet, a bit painful, the arch freer than normal, all that making me stand taller and straighter but more precarious.

The denim of my skirt, thick but soft, brushing my knees, closer fitting on my thighs and hips. The stocking tops, tight against my skin, the nylon stretched over my legs, seams under my toes. Silk of my knickers on my buttocks and pubis, soft and slick, its cool caress on my labia. The corset laced from just below the small of my back to just below my shoulder blades; not very tight but tight enough to smooth the curve of my flaring hips, to make me aware of how my breasts raise and fall as the air moves in and out of my lungs, to make my heartbeat resonate under my constrained ribs.  My nipples, erect, brushing against the cotton lining, harder than usual, darker too, the flush spreading beyond the areolas, the arousal more general than sexual but with the sexual bubbling under the surface, only the skin away. The satin lining of my jacket on my bare arms, the crinkle of leather against leather as I play with my car keys in my pocket. The pulse in the wrists, behind my knees, in my clit, my temples, under my collar bones.

I breathe in deeply, flex my fingers, lick my lips.

I'm not quite sure he'll be here. I'm not sure I'll recognise him. I'm not sure he'll recognise me, although he certainly has more chance than I do.

People are coming out now, and I'm grateful for the tinted glasses I put on earlier to protect my pale eyes against the unseasonably bright sun of the late autumn.

And then I see him, and I'm sure - almost sure - completely sure - that it's him.

I stay in place, looking at him through my dark glasses, my attention shifted again, the background still fuzzy but my focus entirely outwards now, my eyes fixed on the tall, slim guy with short dark hair, looking younger than what I know his years to be; walking out of the gate, slowing, almost stopping to scan the field.

He seems cool enough and yet there is a jaggedy edge there, not just for obvious reasons, a highly-strung core under a composed exterior, energy with a desperate twist. Can I really read this from seeing somebody walk twenty steps across an airport hall? I shrug. Probably not. I'm imagining it, projecting the him-in-my-head onto the real man getting closer to me this very minute.

It doesn't really matter, though, or it will stop mattering very soon, here and almost-now.

I still can't quite believe it, the imaginary lover from the imaginary playground, unimaginably here, in flesh and blood; now walking towards me across the concourse, now standing in front of me, a slight smile in the corners of his mouth.

Here. Now.

I smile too, but remain silent. The words are gone, not lost but receded to the back of my mind. I can feel electric shimmers crawling over my skin. My hands, now out of my pockets, dry and warm, supple, tingling, ready. My lips, flushed swollen.

“M?” he says, eventually, after what seemed hours but was a second, maybe two.
I nod but stay silent, reach out to his face with my hand. My fingers somewhere between his jawline and his cheekbone, my thumb on his lips, running slowly back and forth between them until they part under my touch.

He breathes deeply, something between a sigh and a moan.

My fingers slide down his neck. I'm smiling, looking straight into his eyes though he doesn't know it because I still have my sunglasses on, my hand pressing down, my head moving in a slight nod as the pressure increases; he's looking down at the floor, at my red-painted toes.

“Here. Now,” I say.

He hesitates for a moment, the moment gets longer and I think I've blown it. I think he'll look up, step away, we'll talk, I'll ask him about the flight, he'll answer, we'll get coffee, discuss immigration checks, customs, in-flight entertainment; the background will get into focus, the blade will lose its edge.

I leave my right hand on his shoulder for another second and step closer. So close that we are almost touching each other; reach with my left hand to his right wrist, to the thick black string tied loosely around it, my fingertips brushing his skin, resting briefly there. I tug lightly, twisting it twice until it digs into his skin.

And then, led by an impulse alien even to myself, I take a step back, then another one; remove my right hand from his shoulder and with just a small swing, I slap his face, fast and hard, hard enough to make his head reel, as much from the impact as from the suddenness of it.

“Now. Here,” I repeat, a movement of my head indicating what I expect.

And then he does the imaginable but unbelievable and drops to his knees, bends down and kisses my feet; here, now, his lips dry and hot on my toes, left first then the right one, then the thin nylon covering the instep between the straps; his breath now damp and warm on my skin.

There are people around us, mostly obliviously busy on their way but some slowing down or even stopping to glance then shift their gaze away, a group of teenagers is giggling, but all sounds and movements are flat and muted, coming from afar, and all I am really aware of is his kneeling at my feet in the middle of the arrival hall, bang between the WH Smith newsagent and the information desk, at almost 9am in the morning; the finger marks blooming pink on his cheek; here, now.

He straightens up, his eyes still down, still on his knees, and I lean down, touch his shoulder again.

“Get up, J,” I say.

The normal reasserts itself, the background sounds and objects and people emerge from the opalescent blend and come back into focus; I takes my glasses off and look at him directly. He looks back, fixing my gaze, his eyes dark, his pupils dilated, and the intensity of that stare is such that I bursts out laughing, because there is nothing else to do; not hysterical and not delirious but not far off either of those.

“Let's go. It's a long drive.”



------ More meetings: Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Wednesday, 1 February 2017

To have his cock and lock it? (1)

This is a germ of an idea. A teaser for an entirely new (and possibly quite long) story, let's say. Let me know what you think, either in comments below or directly via the contact form

---------------------------

Ian got up from his seat, feeling a sudden tightening in his chest and throat. Marie was already standing up and strode in in two quick steps without looking at him. He followed her, the memory of the recent events that brought them here running like a film in his head.

**

"I want you to lock me up. Not just tie with leather straps when we play sometimes. Like, properly. With a device. I think it would really make things better for you. I'd love to do it for you. Please, Ma'am,"  Ian looked at her from the sofa, eyes darting up to then quickly return to the pages of the book as if to make it seem less important a request, less pressing a need. Though using her honorific, something that slipped out without his consciously deciding to do so, indicating that he was talking in a submissive to a dominant mode, might not have been the best idea.

"No."

Marie didn't even moved her eyes from the screen of her laptop but her ''no'' was a firm and a decisive one, and he didn't really expect anything else. They'd discussed it before, or he tried to hint, and hint and hint again. But the hints or suggestions hadn't worked and he felt he needed to make it clear to her how much he wanted it. To think of it, he didn't understand her objections.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to."

"But why not?'' He was worried about appearing demanding, or whiny, but if he was to have any chance of persuading her, he needed to know her reasons.

Marie turned towards him now, smiling but maybe just a little annoyed.

"I don't want to," she repeated, "This should be enough of the reason for you. We have an agreement, I recall? I say. You do. Boy."

He shivered a little, reacting to the change in her voice, to the slower, firmer tone, to the lowered timbre in which the raspy hoarseness made itself more apparent. And to that "boy" thrown in at the end, a reminder of the nature of their relationship.

"But... Yes. Yes, we do have an agreement. But... it would give you so much more control over my cock, Ma'am. I wouldn't be able to... I mean..."

Marie got up from her chair and made the steps towards him, standing just by the sofa, her knees almost touching him. She leaned down and cupped his chin in her right hand. He could smell her perfume, smoky and balsamic, and the leather of her wrist bands. Her fingers closed harder, she pulled him up, making him wince.

"Maybe you are forgetting yourself a bit here, boy. Maybe you need a reminder," her hand released him and swung, a short, fast slap of the ends of  her fingers that shocked him more than stung. Though it stung too.

"And sit fucking straight when you're addressing me as a submissive addressing a dominant."

Ian took a deep breath to stop himself from making noise, straightened up, put his feet on the ground and his hands on his knees.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am', he mumbled, the memory of her fingers hot on his skin, the humiliation of the slap magnified momentously by his cock starting to stir and fill up in his pants. He tried to adjust his position so she couldn't see his growing erection, but of course she did, a smirk emerging on her face, colour rising on her cheeks.

"I'm glad that's clear. As to control...,'' she glanced at his crotch, ''As to control over your cock, sweetie darling, it seems to me that I have quite a lot as it is, don't I? A mere slap and a few firm words and you are standing to attention. In every way possible, '' she laughed.

"Ian."

He jumped up to his feet. When she said his name, this way, as a separate utterance, he was to stand up, back straight, head down, eyes up, whatever he was doing and wherever he was. The reaction was reflexive, nearly automatic now and so was the way his cock hardened to a nearly-full erection, pushing painfully against the tautening fabric of his jeans.

She dropped onto the sofa, stretching back, her right leg bent, its foot on her left knee, her hands crossed behind her head, and looked at him in an appraising way.

''Ian. When we started this, this... arrangement. This relationship. I made it clear that the sexual part of it would be determined by what I want. I said I would respect your limits and that I would listen to your suggestions and ideas, but that the only two things I promised was to respect your limits and to dominate you. Not to fulfil your fantasy of submission. Is that correct, boy?''

He nodded.

"I can't hear you. Is that correct?''

''Yes, Ma'am. It's correct.''

''There was no dealbreaker must-haves on your side, was there?''

''No.''

"No what?''

''No, Ma'am. Sorry.''

''So, you are standing here in front of me. Nodding and yes-ma'aming me. Your dick hard because I showed you who the boss is, isn't it? It makes your dick hard to be shown your place, doesn't it?''

"Yes, Ma'am.''

''It makes your cock hard when I slap you, doesn't it?''

"Yes, Ma'am.''

"I like it too, of course. I almost like it too much to use it the way I just did. We match pretty well on this whole kink thing, don't we? And yet you feel this need to bring up something I have no interest in? And push it when I say I am not interested? The rest is not enough for you?''

Ian felt that the situation was getting out of control, and not in the way he liked. He regretted asking her (again), he regretted the way he stated his request this time, he regretted trying to push it or trying to understand why she wasn't interested. It didn't matter why. He was here to do what she wanted. He wanted to do what she wanted.

''But what really pisses me off here is that you have the fucking cheek to say that you would be somehow doing it for me."

She got up and was now standing in front of him.

"So. For the last time. I like you, Ian. I like you a lot. I like the dynamic we have. I like the way you respond to me. I like what I can do to your cock. I like what I can do to your mind even more,'' she reached down and run her fingers along the length of his faltering erection, making it rigid again. Ian moaned.

"I like to be in control,'' her head leaned towards him, ''I like touching you any way I want,'' she licked his neck, ''I like the sounds you make,'' she bit his earlobe, not a soft nibble but a sharp, hard bite that made him gasp, ''I like teasing you, sometimes,'' she squeezed his cock hard through the fabric, ''I like hurting you,'' her left hand was now playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, her nails scratching gently, then sliding lower and digging harder, ''I like that you like me hurting you,'' her other hand moved to his cheek, still smarting a little from the slap, ''I like your cock too,'' she said, suddenly matter of fact, almost cold, stepping back from him.

''I like to play with it. I like it hard and throbbing and I like the way you fall to pieces when you get to the edge and beg me to come and I like how your face looks when you do come for me. And I don't have any desire to see it or feel it in some ridiculous chastity cage."

"It's my cock and I will decide what happens to it in this relationship.''

"Now go to your room, strip and wait for me there like a good slut.''

And that seemed to be it then. They had sex later that day, playfully rough, but not less rough for all the playfulness, leaving Ian's back, chest and ass with a lattice of marks and splotches of bruises and she let him come, eventually, after bringing him to the edge of begging desperation several times, and he made a firm decision to never mention the whole sorry subject again lest he spoiled all the good things they shared.

So when, maybe a week later, Marie brought his request up, he was more than defensive, doing his best to reassure her that it didn't really matter for him.  When she explained what she had in mind and how it was possible, he initially recoiled. Wearing a physical object that prevented him from becoming fully erect or ejaculating was one thing and whatever he'd claimed, he found it a red-hot turn on, even the idea of it making him hard and pulling up all the submissive urges from the recesses of his psyche.

Letting someone fuck with his mind - with his brain - using some experimental techniques derived from a combination of psychology, neuroscience and medicine was an entirely different matter.

She was pretty persuasive with her ''but this is what you really wanted'' argument though, and none of the research she'd done seemed to contradict the claims made by the OC-Lab, however preposterous or worrying they appeared at first. Numerous emails, several phone and Skype calls and one meeting with ecstatically enthusiastic customers (or was it subjects?) of the discreetly named and located and extortionately priced facility later, Ian found himself sitting in the blond-wood-and pale-leather-armchairs waiting room, white tulips stark in their glass vases, Mapplethorpe prints on the walls.

The door to the left of him opened, a tall man in his late twenties dressed in jeans and a loose shirt somewhat incongruent with the whole milieu appeared, smiling.

''Sorry to keep you waiting. Dr Marsden will see you now,'' he said, his accent a low southern American drawl, his smile a preppy perfection. Ian hesitated, then got up.

**

-- to be continued, perhaps














Tuesday, 8 November 2016

Perverting the perversion

Another sample from a novella-length story. Check the link for the full tale - or just enjoy this part.

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No, it's not what you think.

I step away.

I walk out of the door and you follow me to my bedroom. The bed has been made, the sheets clean and smooth, the cover pulled aside. There are pillows ready, and a few lengths of a smooth, shiny black rope have been neatly placed near the headboard.

I look at you and take off my top. I am wearing a body of plain black lycra, the sheer cups of the bra section showing my nipples, hard and darkened, ready to be touched and licked.

I reach under my skirt and pull off the panties, damp and smelling of my arousal, drop them on the floor. I leave my stockings and skirt on and look at you, waiting expectantly, your cock not as stiff as it was earlier but not entirely limp either.

And you still don't know, do you?

I sit on the edge of the bed and reach for one of the thinner pieces of rope.

“C'mere, boy.”

You come near, getting fully erect within seconds of my touching you. I tie your junk, round the base and then in a cross between your balls, tight enough to be felt and effective but not as tight as to have you lose blood supply any time soon. Your balls are smooth, shiny, bulging; the skin stretched and hot. Your cock is rock hard  now and you moan again when I lean my head down to grab it and lick around it. It feels like we've done it hundreds of times. Actually, we have, in one way or another, haven't we?

My tongue moves slowly on your skin, smooth, wet licks that have you gasp and shiver.

“Mmmm. I love this. I want to slap it now.”

“Please. Please do, Ma'am. I need it...”

And so I do what you're asking for and you reel a little again and moan again, and I moan too, a deep ooooh turning into a louder, hoarser, lower 'Ohhhh fuck...'.

I am so turned on now, so wired up that I almost – almost – give up the plan, interrupt the script that I have in my head in order to just push you on the bed, hurt you some more the way I love hurting you, the way I know you love being hurt, until I am so close to orgasm that a touch of my fingers combined with your tongue would make me explode.

But no.

“Now, J,” I say, getting up and hooking one of fingers of my left hand in a D-ring of your collar.

“Yes, M?”

I jerk my head sideways, indicating the rope still there on the bed.

“These are not for you, this time.”

You're quiet.

“I am not asking you to dominate me, J.”

You're still quiet and now I think I've blown it. I think you won't be able to do it, either because you can't, or because it's a turn off for you, or because you don't trust yourself to. Or because you can't even understand what I am talking about.

I move a little closer, and my hip brushes against your groin, your cock still rock hard.

“You. Will. Do. Exactly. And. Only. What. I. Say. When I say it. How I say it.”

My voice is slow and measured, the words coming out in what would be staccato if I picked up the pace a bit.

Your eyes are down now. I let go of the collar and cup your chin in my hand, gently, running my thumb along and between your lips, in the gesture that's become a part of a ritual between us, the tip of you tongue momentarily wet and stiff on my skin.

“Lick it, J. Like a good slut.”

You do, as you did before, sucking and then using your lips and flat tongue on my palm, in between my fingers in those spaces where all my tension, and pain, and desire and excitement focus so much, then across my palm again and down to my wrist.

“Now let go,” I say, even though I don't really want you to stop.

Your breathing is faster again, eyes half-closed, and you drop to your knees obediently when I put my hands on your shoulders.

“Good boy. Remind me who owns you.”

“You do, M.”

“Who owns your slut mouth and your hands and your cock?”

“You do, M. I'm yours.”

“That's my boy.”

“You will do what you are told, won't you, J?” My hand is playing with your hair, your eyes down.

“Yes, M. I will. I will try. It won't be... easy.”

I laugh. It seems odd to have you say that just now, after everything I've put you through, but I understand what you mean. It won't be easy for me either, the jarring clash between giving you the physical means to take control while demanding that you still – more so, even – give it to me. And it will be harder for you, because I know that you make a much more convincing top that I have ever made a sub.

“I trust you. I would not let anybody else do this. But I know you will do it exactly as I want it done.”

“Yes, M.”

“C'mon then. Up you get,” I run my fingers through your hair again, grab a handful, together with your ear and pull you up, before letting go and climbing onto the bed.

You're standing next to it,  looking slightly baffled and a bit unsure, but there is that little smile in the corners of your mouth and I am starting to think it might work after all.  

I sit back against the headboard and pick up a decent length of the rope, roll it into a neat coil and throw it at you, “Tie my wrists to the headboard. Start with the left one. Use secure loops but not too tight. I will tell you if I am uncomfortable.”

You catch the rope and tighten your fingers on it, as if pondering something, then suddenly you're here, holding my hand in yours again. I wriggle down the bed so my head is where I want it to be eventually and I am now laying flat on my back, my left arm semi-extended towards the headboard.

“Kiss my wrist again.”

Mouth on my skin, steaming damp, your tongue touching lightly, your face closer to my hand.

“Up the forearm now.”

Your lips are moving in a slow trail of kisses along the inner surface of my forearm, all the way to the crook of the elbow.

“Lick back down...mmmm.... beautiful. Good boy. That's enough. Get on with the rope now.”

You wrap my wrist with a triple loop of the rope, check that it's not too tight and then fasten it to one of the balusters of the headboard. I pull at the tie, it seems secure but comfortable.

“The other hand now, J,” I hope my voice isn't shaking too much.

I'm getting frightened now, my mind fighting my body's impression that there is something seriously wrong going on. Your hands are tied... your fucking hands are tied and you are just letting it happen... is ringing in my head and reverberating through my body. I am scared. Not turned-on-and-excited-scared, but simply scared, so scared that my voice is on the verge of breaking.

I want to tell you to stop. Now. I want to tell you to untie me. I want to test you - now, now, now, NOW! - to make sure that you would do what you're told when you're told. I want to test it, but I know it's too soon. Too early. I'd blow it if I did it now, so I dampen down my fear, settle myself into the trust that I have in you, your submission, and in my own ownership  and control.

You keep checking that I am comfortable, talking in a lower, soothing voice and I am getting more relaxed, but it isn't really what I want either. I don't want to slip into a dizzy submissive fog.

I need to assert my power, the power which - if it is to be real, if it means anything at all - is still there – should be still there - even now when my hands are tied. The power that should be more apparent and paradoxically, more visible now that I am physically restrained.

“Push a pillow under my butt. And one under my head.”

You obey, checking again that I am happy with my arrangement, murmuring something low that I can't quite catch. My knees are a little wide, my elevated hips making me feel exposed. I don't really feel comfortable like that – not without my hands free – but I am also turned on, and getting more turned on, with every command you obey, with every minute that passes and the situation doesn't crash around us. I let the underlying arousal wash over me now, swipe away some of the fear and tension, clear my mind and focus it.  

“Kneel on the bed to my right. Hands on your knees. Eyes down. Roughly at my chest level.”

I look at you from my position, smiling, a little laugh escaping. You're  above me, and I can't reach out to you, grab you, direct you; not even touch you. For that matter, I can't even reach and touch myself, and god how I want to now, suddenly, when I see your smooth skin and erect cock curving up between your thighs as you kneel next to me.

My hands are gone.

But I have you. Your mouth. Your hands. Your cock.

No, not  yours. Mine.

“Stroke my cock, for me, J. Count twelve strokes and keep them slow.”

You obey, counting as you move your hand, your eyes locking with mine. I am smiling, even though my breathing is faster and yet deeper than normal, even though the tops of my thighs are getting covered with a slick dampness of desire and my lower back is arching just a bit.

“Twelve...” comes out with a gasp, my cock still in your grip.

“Come closer. Here. I want to taste you.”

You get near me, lean over a little, the tip of the cock almost but not quite touching my lips, “Closer!”

You obey, and at a slight turn of my head I can now lick my cock, shiny with the first drops of precum, hot and twitching when I run the tip of my stiff tongue along the bottom side, pressing harder on the frenulum, making little circles in that sensitive spot.

“That's perfect. Don't move now, just hold it there.”

Your breathing is shallow and I can see the muscles in your groin and lower belly flexing, as if you were trying to stop yourself from pushing in. I take the cockhead between my lips and tighten, sucking, my tongue swirling around the top. You moan, your right hand moving towards my head, then stopping half way, landing on the headboard. I turn my head, move my mouth away.

“You're doing well, J. Lick my breasts now. Through the lace. Use your hand on the other one. Gently. No teeth.”

You take a deep breath and start doing just that, your breath hot on my skin through the sheer fabric, your lips and tongue ravenous yet soft on my right nipple, your fingers stroking and tweaking the other one. I want to put my hand on your head, and then I realise that I don't need to, that you are exactly where I want you and doing exactly what I want you to do, and I close my eyes and let out a deep sigh that turns into a moan, making small, guttural noises of encouragement, praise and pleasure as you go.

You're lying next to me, the bound cock brushing against my thigh, my knee bending and pushing between your legs now, rubbing and pressing on that hot, throbbing flesh, the dampness of the precum mixed with saliva drying on my stocking.

“Feel my cunt now, J.”

Your right hand moves down between my legs, bunching the skirt higher, your fingers sliding into my swollen, wet slit, making me gasp and rise my hips towards your touch, move my legs to close them tightly on your hand, grasp it there, then release; your mouth still on my breast.

“Want to taste me?”

“God yes... Please, M...”

“Stand up by the bed and lick your fingers... I want to see you... That's it. That's a good boy. Like that? Do I taste good? Want some more? Want to touch yourself?”

“Fuck.... yes, yes, M... please...”

I let you reach down again and use my juices as lube, watching you stroke my cock, your knees slightly bent, your hips pushing forward as you fuck your hand, picking up the pace as if you were racing towards orgasm.

“STOP. Hands off.”

You groan but obey, again. It's perfect.  

“Do you know what I want to do now?”

“I want to slap my cock. And balls. Make you wince. But I can't do it so you will have to do it for me. Hard, boy. Like a good little painslut you are. Ten good slaps.”

It's an odd but exhilarating feeling, to be lying there, spread flat, looking at you from below, unable to enforce my commands with any physical means, and to have you follow them, still. The first slap is loud, making my cock bounce sideways, the second makes you groan and pause.

“I said ten, J. And don't miss the balls.”

You cry out on the last one, your knees bucking under you, my cock twitching above the red-flushed balls bulging above the tie.

“Good boy. Come back here.” I spread my legs wider, bend my knees, place my feet flat on the bed. “Between my thighs. Where you belong.”

You are kneeling there now, your eyes moving from my face to my cunt, slick, hot and open, inches away from my throbbing cock, my clit so hard and erect that it must be showing above my labia.

“Lick me. Each side, then up towards my clit. Flat, slow and soft. No teeth. Make your slut mouth useful.”

You dive in, lapping and licking, your hands under my butt, your whole face buried in my dripping sex, my legs tightening around your head, wrapped around you, now crossed behind your back, pulling you in.

I am very glad I didn't go as far as making you tie my ankles and that thought makes me laugh out loud even through the thickening, sticky cloud of arousal building up as you keep eating me out; and oh my god how perfect your mouth is, everywhere I want it, everywhere I need it, adjusting and responding not just to my words, but my movements, twitches, moans and changing breath patterns; your tongue buried deep inside me, then flicking and circling around my throbbing clit, your lips soft and open, then puckered, kissing and sucking, then licking and tongue fucking me again.

For a moment I lose my awareness of you, all that's left is the glowing, ecstatic ''now'' of waves building inside me, spreading over my whole body from that wet, hot pool of desire you've disappeared in. I think I come then, but I am not sure if I really do because it's not even possible to draw a clear line between the plateau of pleasure I am on and any peaks that might spike up from it, and it doesn't really matter then and there.

You're panting and gasping, I am not sure if it's from lack of air, or arousal, or combination of the two, or the effort it takes to keep going with my cunt rubbed all over your face, my legs tight around your neck. I loosen up and release him from the grip, moving my feet down your back, pushing you up.  

“Get your face up here.”

It's slick with my juices and sweat dampening your hair, your lips swollen, your eyes wide, pupils dilated, mouth half-open, somewhere between a smile and a moan; and I can't help but laugh again, close to overwhelmed by a mixture of joy and lust, high on the moment, on the perfection that we are achieving here, on how well it's working out, on the fact that it is actually working out at all, and on how good it feels.

You kiss me, lightly, my tongue darts out to taste myself on your skin, the musk and brine coating it, making me moan and grasp your lower lip in my teeth, bite harder until you wince and moan, my cock stiff against my body, my legs wrapped around your hips now, my cunt rubbing on your pulsing hardness.

“Kiss my neck, then lick down to my shoulder,” your mouth moves where directed, my moan tracing the wet trail of your tongue, my legs tighter around your waist.

“Bite me.”

You stops, suddenly completely still.

“BITE ME,” I repeat, firm and loud, almost shouting into your ear.

Your teeth close on my skin, gently but noticeably.

“Harder.”

I am aroused enough to find it pleasurable, at the level when I can enjoy the intensity of the caress that borders on pain. But this is just a side effect. This moment is not about this kind of pleasure.

“Harder. Hard enough so it hurts. Harder, I fucking said!”

You stop and start talking in a low, 'normal' voice, dubious, questioning, “M... please... you don't really like it, do you? I don't want to hurt you...”

I am getting annoyed, annoyed enough so I want to slap you, “I said bite me hard, J. Do. What. I. Say. Bitch,” I hiss, even as I feel ridiculous doing that, adopting this language while flat on my back under you, with my hands restrained.

But it works. You obey, your teeth on my shoulder again, tightening until I wince, until I want to cry out. Until I do.

“FUCKING HARDER, SLUT.... Arrrrgh....”

It hurts. It hurts like fuck, and no, I don't like being hurt and yet the satisfaction of making you do it overrides the pain, floods my mind with a wave of arousal that has nothing to do with what you are actually doing but everything to do with making you do it, and maybe even with making myself put up with it, taking the flow of power to another place, a different level yet again.

“Stop.”

It's hard to say it without shrieking, what with your teeth digging into my skin and close to breaking it, maybe even breaking it now; but somehow I manage and you obey in an instant, your head laying still in the crook of my shoulder.

“Look at me, J,” I'm wincing as I say it, and my eyes are wet, but the grimace turns into a wide smile of satisfaction when you look at me, supporting yourself on your hands above me, your dark eyes a mixture of concern and something that borders on elation.

“I'm sorry, M,” you mumble quietly and it's all so bizarre that I am laughing again, through the dull pain of the swelling bruise on my shoulder.

I tighten my legs around you and push my hips up, my cock getting yet harder again when I say “Good boy.”

“Now move down there and kneel... let me see you... yess... that's it. Touch my cock for me. Hold it and stroke, slowly. Slowly I said.... get closer... now rub it around my cunt... mmmm....that's it. Feels good?”

The warm, smooth cockhead is sliding along my slit. Every time you pass my clit, I rise my hips towards it, the mounting arousal beautiful, pulsing, almost unbearable.

“Fuck yes M... you feel soooo good.... ohhhh....”

“Slide it in. I want to feel you inside me. Deep. Then stay still.”

You do as told, hard and hot, parting my slippery folds, reaching in, making me gasp with the sudden pleasure, the walls of my cunt contracting on the throbbing flesh.

“Ohhh... M... I'm so close... fuck...”

“Don't move. I know you want to but you will not. And don't come.”

Panting, your whole body shivering and tense with the effort of obeying my order, and I am not sure if the simple sensation of my cunt squeezing and relaxing over the cock that fills it or if it's watching you struggling with your own desire like that, but I am now myself getting lost in all that, my whole body, inside and out, on fire.

I untangle my legs and hook them on your shoulders now, which is not a mean feat considering that I am far from willowy or nimbly athletic, but I want you deeper now. All the way in, and stock still inside me, as long as you can manage. As long as I can make you.

You slide out with a groan, help me adjust and plunge deep back in. It feels like all the mounting desire of your body to thrust, to fuck me, to fuck something, focuses in this one movement, my cock even bigger and harder than it was before, filling me up, touching all the exquisitely pleasurable spots inside.

“Stay still,” I repeat.

You're breathing fast through clenched teeth, your hands under my butt, holding me close, your eyes fixed on my mouth as if it offered some kind of lifeline, then moving to my eyes, locking my dilated gaze, your teeth visibly clenched over your lower lip.

“Fuck... fuck.... ooooh god, M.... I...,” gasping now, breathlessly.

“Stay still,” I repeat, again, my cunt clenching over my pulsing cock, my feet turned somewhat awkwardly to join behind your neck.

A vague thought of 'how long are you going to last like that?' floats through my mind and I am smiling at that, a wide smile, a snarly smile, with an odd quick bite of my own lower lip, spilling into a low laugh that rises from somewhere deep inside my chest, and from lower down between my legs. I push my hips up, trying to get you even deeper, your balls hot and heavy on my ass, the curve of my cock perfect inside.

“You want to fuck me, boy, don't you? It would feel good to thrust and move, in and out, faster and faster, wouldn't it?”

“Yes... god yes... please M... I can't... I can't do it much longer... ohhhhhh....,” you moan again, your eyes fluttering, my cock throbbing, your body shaking.

“Out.”

I unhook my legs, let the left one drop on the bed, use the right foot to shove you and you slide out, a look of something approaching a relief on your face.

“Move back. Sit on your heels. Knees wide.”

My feet land in your lap, the moisture covering you rubbing dry on the nylon of the stockings, one foot pressing the tip of my cock up towards your belly, the other pushing your balls back. You're panting again, short, broken breaths, head thrown back, your hands on your knees, fingers digging in as if for a distraction.

“Yes, yes, yes, please, M, yesss...”

I rub my right foot along the bottom surface of my cock, harder and faster as I go, all the way from the tightly stretched, precum covered skin on top down to the base and back again, pushing it further towards your flexing belly.

“Now. For me, boy,” comes out of my mouth as a low, rapid whisper and the orgasm spills out of you before I even finish saying it, a warm explosion of thick stickiness all over my toes, a squirt after a squirt, the muscles of your legs and belly twitching as I keep rubbing through the spasms and beyond them, until you start squirming when it becomes too much after your orgasm subsides.

“Untie your junk now and clean me up.”

You pull the bindings off my cock and slide down the end of the bed, your mouth on my cum-covered feet, licking it off, sucking bits of fabric, your tongue busy and obedient even now after you came.

I'm getting impatient. “Enough of this. Bedside table drawer. Now.”

There is a craft knife there and you know what to do, my hands pulling at the restraints to stretch the rope and make it easy to cut. The moment you put the blade back I am sitting up, grabbing the D-ring on your collar again, pulling you closer to me.

“You did well, boy. I loved it,” I kiss your neck just below your left ear, then straighten up. “Now, just a reminder...” my right arm swings casually, a light slap, more a symbolic reassertion than something intended to cause any pain.

But the contact of my fingers and palm with your face is electrifying, a jolt that makes me gasp, swear, breath sharply in through my nose, exhale between clenched, bared teeth, I want to – I NEED to - do it again, harder now, almost but now quite losing control, and one more time, ooooh fuck, my hand slides from your hot cheek up to your ear, grabs it, my fingers in your hair, clawing, both hands now, pushing you down, closer, between my legs, faster, oh my fucking god how I want it, and don't care if you are in your male post-orgasmic slump, I need your lips and tongue there, now, now, now.

Now. Mine.

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